Have you seen Belle yet? If you haven’t, you should.
I have been a close observer of the myth of matriarchal prehistory for fifteen years now and have watched as it has moved from its somewhat parochial home in the feminist spirituality movement out into the feminist and cultural mainstream. But I haven’t been able to cheer at the myth’s increasing acceptance. My irritation with the historical claims made by the myth’s partisans masks a deeper discontent with the myth’s assumptions. There is a theory of sex and gender embedded in the myth of matriarchal prehistory, and it is neither original nor revolutionary. Women are defined quite narrowly as those who give birth and nurture, who identify themselves in terms of their relationships, and who are closely allied with the body, nature, and sex—usually for unavoidable reasons of their biological makeup. This image of women is drastically revalued in feminist matriarchal myth, such that it is not a mark of shame or subordination, but of pride and power. But this image is nevertheless quite conventional and, at least up until now, it has done an excellent job of serving patriarchal interests.
[…] Why then take the time and trouble to critique this myth, especially since it means running the risk of splitting feminist ranks, which are thin enough as it is? Simply put, it is my feminist movement too, and when I see it going down a road which, however inviting, looks like the wrong way to me, I feel an obligation to speak up. Whatever positive effects this myth has on individual women, they must be balanced against the historical and archaeological evidence the myth ignores or misinterprets and the sexist assumptions it leaves undisturbed. The myth of matriarchal prehistory postures as “documented fact,” as “to date the most scientifically plausible account of the available information.” These claims can be—and will be here—shown to be false. Relying on matriarchal myth in the face of the evidence that challenges its veracity leaves feminists open to charges of vacuousness and irrelevance that we cannot afford to court. And the gendered stereotypes upon which matriarchal myth rests persistently work to flatten out differences among women; to exaggerate differences between women and men; and to hand women an identity that is symbolic, timeless, and archetypal, instead of giving them the freedom to craft identities that suit their individual temperaments, skills, preferences, and moral and political commitments.
all autocompletes were screenshots of actual searches on 12/3/2013
photo credit: Mike Allen
The idea was inspired by the UN Women campaign by Memac Ogilvy & Mather Dubai.
Racism from Absence
In my 19 years in America, I’ve never been stopped and frisked. Cops are always nice to me. People have no problems sitting next to me on the bus. No one’s scared of me no matter what direction I pointed my cap.
The kind of Asian racism that makes headlines is cultural misappropriation -when some “insensitive” entertainer wears silk kimonos and painted faces to look exotic.
This never bothered me.
It’s the subtle, slippery racism that’s far more sinister. The absence of Asian leads in a non-martial arts movie or TV shows means I grew up knowing only non-Asian celebrities and role models. And if you’re an Asian guy, you are not the stuff of fantasies girls grew up dreaming about.
The absence of Asians from politics and upper management means that Asians can be hard workers and geniuses but never leaders.
Above all, there seems to be some perma-foreignness about Asians. It’s not unusual to be told to “go back to China” and to be mocked for an accent we don’t have. The manifestations of this viewpoint range from the seemingly harmless to the outright hostile. But the underlying message is the same. Asians are not real Americans.
I vividly remember seeing this racism first-hand in a conversation with one of my former business partners. I wanted to create a mentoring program in a predominantly Asian school organization.
He flat out told me he had no interest in helping Asians succeed in America. I asked him, “Are you serious?” He said, “Yeah.” He laughed a little.
He was serious.
It was a wtf moment for many reasons and was a major factor behind my decision to leave my position as a co-founder. I eventually heard from a mutual friend that he said I was a follower not a leader.
In retrospect, I’m fortunate to have heard him verbalize something that others keep to themselves. It allowed me to move on to bigger and better things instead of wasting time working with someone who never saw me as a partner.
This is the most important post I’ve seen in a while. Racism from absence is something that is predominant here on tumblr, which is shocking because this is the most politically correct and representative platform I have in my life. It’s not okay to joke about transgendered individuals, it’s not okay to joke about racism against black people, but apparently it is always okay to joke about Asians. Perhaps it’s because the internet is so US-centric, but the only POCs I’ve ever seen recognized or represented seem to be african-american/black, and calls for the end of institutionalized racism tend to ignore the equally long history of oppresion many Asian countries have suffered, and Asian immigrants in western countries continue to suffer. Ask yourself this: in a world where Asians make up the majority of the global population, have you ever seen Asian individuals valorized for anything other than being aberrations of the Asian culture? Wait- can you even name more than 10 Asian individuals valorized to the extent of mainstream popularity?
As an Asian in an international school, I’ve seen this type of subtle racism enacted every single day. When I work hard to achieve something and the results reflect my hard work, the response I most typically hear is “it’s because you’re Asian.” To hear that the hours I put into trying to be the best individual I could possibly be, coming home at 9PM after gymnastics to do homework late into the night and sleeping at insanely late hours or trying to balance Junior Achievement with community service, were not enough to gain recognition as Jasmine Chia and not simply another faceless slant-eyed member of the Asian ethnicity makes me truly wonder what it takes for an Asian to be represented in this world. My experience is something familiar to any other Asian who has had contact with the Western world:
Here is what I sometimes suspect my face signifies to other Americans: an invisible person, barely distinguishable from a mass of faces that resemble it. A conspicuous person standing apart from the crowd and yet devoid of any individuality. An icon of so much that the culture pretends to honor but that it in fact patronizes and exploits. Not just people “who are good at math” and play the violin, but a mass of stifled, repressed, abused, conformist quasi-robots who simply do not matter, socially or culturally. (source)
Next time we ask for POC representation in media, don’t forget Asians. Next time we see a piece of Asian amazingness, whether it’s He Kexin on the beam or Doona Bae in Cloud Atlas, take the time to humanize them instead of thinking of them simply as representatives of the Chinese gymnastics industry or the rising Korean wave of actors. When an Asian person is genuinely good at music, recognize that they worked hard for it. When an Asian chess prodigy wins the world championship, learn their name and not just the country they come from. Don’t pretend to get angry on behalf of geishas at cultural appropriation if you don’t stand up for the fact that cultural appropriation is the only form of recognition we get in mainstream media.
It’s up to you and me. As a fashion blog, I say post more Asian models, more Asian designers. This is not about fighting against some oppresive power, but fighting to make space in a silence that defines Asian existence. My existence.
Let’s not forget that there’s also varying levels of racism associated to the Asian identity. The attitudes towards East Asians, South Asians, and Southeast Asians are remarkably different — even though their cultures have all intermingled at different parts throughout history. The stereotypes of “Asian-ness” are all exaggerations of East Asians, while most South Asians aren’t even considered Asian by non-Asians. As for Southeast Asians, there’s internalized racism involved along with a long going history between East and Southeast Asians that have created the same mentality that current Americans have towards the Latin@ population. Unlike the commenters above, I and many other Southeast Asians have been regularly referred to as “the Mexicans of Asia,” which is offensive in so many levels (along with other, more specific, derogatory terms), and sadly, that phrase was always said by fellow Asians.
There is a long history of oppression between groups in Asia that has lasted for centuries before Western civilization even considered exploring east. However, due to the constant, oppressive power of a Western world through globalization and colonialism, this internalized and externalized racism is not only exemplified, but horribly disfigured to accommodate Western ideals. The Asian community is HUGE and while half of the Asian community (cough, East Asians) is exonerated and experience the racism stated above, the experiences of South Asians and Southeast Asians are completely different. True, in past history, East Asians have been racially profiled and physically abused, but that has started to decrease. South Asians are constantly attacked and lumped together, their identities stripped to only “Indian,” forced to deal with the stereotypes and racism of that identity. Due to the recent arrival of Southeast Asians to America (and the circumstances in which they travelled) many Southeast Asians live in low income communities and within their own racial category, consistently have the highest poverty rates. It’s to the point where Southeast Asians are racially profiled by the police and police have entered homes without a warrant and assaulted families (I also experienced this firsthand along with many other people I know). Where more than half of Khmer, Laotian, and Vietnamese people drop out of high school. Or that Hmong people (an ethnic group) are treated so harshly not just by Western society, but even by other Asian groups and subgroups that in official government documents, they get their own category and are monitored and profiled. That there’s a HUGE difference in poverty levels just within Asian identities.
So yes, it’s true that not all Asians are stopped and frisked by the police. Only those Asians with higher levels of melanin and don’t fit within the “Asian Stereotype.”
The above commentators tiptoe around the “Model Minority Myth.” The Model Minority™ is only given to people who have reached acceptable levels of “Whiteness.” True, many East Asians are no longer as publicly abused or mistreated, but like they said, it’s all silent. The discrimination and racism happens in the backfolds of law, government, corporations, etc. As for those who were unfortunate enough to have slightly above accepted levels of melanin, the abuse is public and loud. And often times, internalized racism from those trying to reach the Model Minority™ will be sure to continue to add on to this inequality by distancing themselves (which is dumb on itself, because it makes you a perpetual foreigner and only perpetuates animosity within the Asian community). It’s even worse if you so happen to identify with the LGBTQ+ community.
How the fuck are you going to just lump together 6th generation Chinese Americans, Indian immigrants, and Hmong war refugees? Their histories are so vastly different. Their backgrounds will be the determining factor on why they’re treated a certain way. There’s inequality among the Asian community. It has a lot to do with politics and cultural identities, but these lumping of of identities ends up erasing actual struggles and experiences of Asian subcategories.
Asian Americans do experience racism. Asians do experience racism regardless of where they are in the world. The manifestations of racism and discrimination will vary depending on one’s ethnic heritage, but it is very much real. It is present because of our institutions and which only continues to uphold microaggressions within the Asian community.
I don’t know if some of you have been to these live reads at LACMA, where a classic film is read live on stage by actors who just sit and read the script. We did one recently of American Pie, but we reversed the gender roles. All the women played men; all the men played women. And it was so fascinating to be a part of this because, as the women took on these central roles — they had all the good lines, they had all the good laughs, all the great moments — the men who joined us to sit on stage started squirming rather uncomfortably and got really bored because they weren’t used to being the supporting cast.
It was fascinating to feel their discomfort [and] to discuss it with them afterward, when they said, “It’s boring to play the girl role!” And I said, “Yeah. Yeah. You think? Welcome to our world!
what society needs to understand is that friendship and romance are not ranks, tiers, or levels. they are not above or below each other. romance is not a promotion. friendship is not a demotion. romance is not “more than” being friends with someone. friendship and romance are concepts that exist on equal terms, side by side. sometimes they happen to coincide. other times they never intersect at all. how relationships are classified is up to the individuals involved but like?? neither is inherently more or less valuable is the thing
Well, there can generally only be one romantic partner, but infinite friends, romantic partners generally usurp friends in importance should a decision be called for, and romantic partnership can be established rapidly from strangerhood. It only makes sense that people would view a partner as being more highly valued than a friend, although I would never have as a partner anyone who is not already a good friend.
did you even read the post, because it looks like you instead just spewed a bunch of the exact vile rhetoric that this post was written to combat, in the incredibly patronizing and gross tone of “well it’s only obvious" when it’s anything but.
first of all, plenty of poly people exist and plenty of people who don’t identify as poly have multiple romantic relationships and attractions simultaneously. if there weren’t societal pressure for people to be monogamous there would undoubtedly be even more. the idea that somehow “a single romantic partner” is an essential ideal of all romance, let alone all relationships, is absurd.
secondly, we live in a society where people are conditioned through every mainstream depiction of romance and friendship in our culture that romance is the primary, permanent, fixed commitment of adult life to the exclusion of all other relationships. it’s not the case that this is fundamentally or essentially or naturally true; it’s an ideal and a framework that has been constructed and produced by the society we live in. it’s not only not inherently true for all people, but actually harmful to many people who hold themselves and their romantic relationships up to this difficult-to-impossible standard of exclusivity and sufficiency, where the romantic relationship is expected to provide them with everything they could possibly need, all the while sacrificing the importance of friendships by saying that they’re less important than romance and can’t provide a person with the same kind of meaningful connection.
in reality, it’s perfectly normal to have multiple forms of intimacy with multiple people, but the idea of One True Exclusive All-Important Romance restricts the way people are allowed to be close and intimate and important to one another by limiting these kinds of relationships to romantic partnerships and acting as if closeness and intimacy in friendship is somehow deviant or ‘not just friendship’. in one fell swoop, this privileges the romantic relationship over the friendship while restricting the full breadth of what friendship can even mean to many people. these are not natural ‘realities’ but are artificial constructions of society. friendship and romance can both involve incredible intimacy and closeness and the idea that romance is inherently more important and worthwhile and valid than friendship is an ideological illusion produced by a society that, at its core, values the ideal of a heterosexual reproductive partnership more than it does the emotional wellbeing and relationships of the individuals involved.
it’s not the case that romance or friendship is fundamentally worth more than the other or that one is inherently more important than the other, and that belief is toxic and harmful. that harm is why this post was written, and instead of critically acknowledging that, you’re swallowing society’s depiction of how relationships ‘should’ work whole.
you’re touting the product of an ideological cultural process as “natural” and “normal” and “the way things are” when this post is criticizing that ideological process.
Spoilers below. You are forewarned.
When my friends tell me that they want to help, I totally understand what they are saying, and I love them for offering, but I kind of wish they wouldn’t. Because it puts an uncomfortable burden on me, too, to have people asking that I open up to them; I can’t articulate that it’s not safe for me or for them in a way that doesn’t sound patronizing or rude. It becomes a situation where somehow the person who needs help is turned into the person who is being mean, where I am expected to support my friends while I’m also dealing with my own emotional issues. Which isn’t fair to me.
Read this and please don’t try to be a therapist to your friends. Even if they want you to, it’s really dangerous territory.
At the same time that we are stigmatized for being crazy and told we need to, you know, stop, we’re also told that none of the recognized methods for responsibly managing mental illness are OK. We can’t take medication because that’s weak. We can’t go to therapy because it’s ridiculous to pay some stranger to sit around and talk about feelings. We can’t go to group counseling because that’s just for losers. And so on down the line.