Hati and Sköll - promo art
For full version with sound visit
Tetrapylon gate in the ancient ruined city of Aphrodisias, Turkey (by colinmillerphoto).
The best way to learn about mythology is by going to college or watching movies like Thor and Troy, right? Wrong. For the past few years, Myths RETOLD has been sharing the world’s oldest stories using a kind of caps-locked slam poetry. Or as the site’s author Cory O’Brien puts it, “Yelling myths at the internet.”
With titles like “Charlemagne is Heteroflexible” and “Daedalus is a Way Bigger Asshole Than You Suspected,” Myths RETOLD takes on everything from Aesop’s Fables to the Zoroastrians. The thing about most ancient myths is that they lend themselves really well to this kind of crude and funny, rap/poetry style. They have timeless themes: murder, incest, dick jokes, and bearded men dressing in drag to marry an ice giant and steal back their magical hammer. (Spoiler alert: That one didn’t make it into the Thor movie.)
For O’Brien, this passion for mythology recently resulted in a book deal. Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology came out earlier this year, featuring an intriguing selection of (awesomely genuine) myths that you’ve probably only heard in their cleaned-up, child-friendly versions. The book’s blurb is in iteself an eye-opener:
- Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.
- The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.
- The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.
Curious about this one-man crusade to educate the world on classic mythology, we contacted Cory O’Brien for a chat… [READ MORE]
Did I mention I’m a huge Greek mythology geek?
Mythology meme: two mythological object - The Falcon Cloak (2/2)
YGGDRASILL . holds nine worlds
a huge ash tree in Norse mythology that overspreads the
world and binds earth, hell, and heaven together
Thrúd . daughter of Thor
Þrúðr . strength
Saviors come forth in times of need.
Lemme just talk about Freyja for a bit. She’s a fucking badass. Why? Lemme fucking tell you why.
She gets half of the people that die in battle. Yeah, that’s right. Not all of them go to Odin. Not a majority go to Odin. She gets half. Just as many as Odin gets. And these aren’t the souls that died of disease or old age. These are fucking warriors and Freyja gets half. I don’t know if other cultures have a similar arrangement, but I can tell you that there can’t be many if any.
She’s a goddess of not just war/battle but also love, fertility and sexuality. You know what this means? Freyja is feminine but still a badass. Freyja proves that you don’t have to be butch or manly to be awesome. You can kick ass and not have to give up any part of yourself to do it.
She is the husband of Odr. He tended to go away for long periods of time and she would cry “red gold” for him. Here’s the catch. She doesn’t just sit around and wait for him to return. She actively goes out and searches for him. Freyja isn’t some damsel in distress. She don’t need no man, but she does love the man she has. In Lokasenna Loki accuses Freyja for lying with those other than her husband (including some elves). She gets fucking pissed because how dare he accuse her of such things. She stands up for herself and doesn’t back down, denying such accusations. (It should be noted here that her father Njordr interrupts Loki at one point and says that a woman having lovers other than her husband is harmless and that Loki has given birth to children himself so he’s a fucking hypocrite oooooooh buuuurn.)
But here’s the best part. She was sought after by the joutnn for her beauty, right? When Thrym stole Mjolnir, he demanded Freya’s hand in marriage to get it back. Here’s what happens.
- Thor asks Freyja if she would.
- Freyja laughs in his face and says no.
- Nobody forces Freyja into marrying Thrym because it’s Thor’s mistake for letting Mjolnir be stolen.
Did you get all of that? In other mythologies Freyja would have been forced to go along with it, at least as bait so they can get the hammer back. But no. She was asked first for permission. Because she has a say in who she marries. She says no. Because she has the right to say no. Then everyone starts thinking about plan B. Why? Because it’s not Freyja’s problem. This is fucking huge. If this doesn’t at least say something about the Norse and women’s rights, I don’t know what does. You would never see anything like this in other societies of the time.
I don’t even know why I felt so impelled to write this but fucking hell. GO FREYJA.
Loki, based on the myths where he wears Frigga’s feather cloak and transforms into a bird. Now THAT is wearing your mother’s drapes! Took the hair from the new action figures of Loki they previewed at a toy fair.
Loki did not work with the original document size so I redid Thor’s cloak to match Loki’s new artboard. Apologies for the repost, but I like it better and Thor refuses to be outdone by a glorified peafowl.
Original Thor Description: I can’t leave the idea of Thor’s star crown imagery alone. Here’s the IKEA holiday lights edition (don’t try this at home). Based on photos of the new design for Thor: The Dark World.
Loki and Thor © Marvel
This is so beautiful, I was already a huge fan of the Thor but now that it’s a set I cannot. Stop. Staring.
Page 1 of 15