Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested. His attorney explained, “There was a period when he was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce. He insists that these acts did not stretch back further than three or four months. His daughter says longer. But everyone should be very careful in what they say.” Because, really, even despite her seeking help, her testimony, her bravery in setting up a webcam to film her father raping her, you really can’t believe what the girl says, can you?
Everyone “knows” this. Even children.
Three years ago, in fly-on-the-wall fashion of parent drivers everywhere, I listened while a 14-year-old girl in the back seat of my car described how angry she was that her parents had stopped allowing her to walk home alone just because a girl in her neighborhood “claimed she was raped.” When I asked her if there was any reason to think the girl’s story was not true, she said, “Girls lie about rape all the time.” She didn’t know the person, she just assumed she was lying…
No one says, “You can’t trust women,” but distrust them we do. College students surveyed revealed that they think up to 50% of their female peers lie when they accuse someone of rape, despite wide-scale evidence and multi-country studies that show the incident of false rape reports to be in the 2%-8% range, pretty much the same as false claims for other crimes. As late as 2003, people jokingly (wink, wink) referred to Philadelphia’s sex crimes unit as “the lying bitch unit.” If an 11-year-old girl told an adult that her father took out a Craigslist ad to find someone to beat and rape her while he watched, as recently actually occurred, what do you think the response would be? Would she need to provide a videotape after the fact?
It goes way beyond sexual assault as well. That’s just the most likely and obvious demonstration of “women are born to lie” myths. Women’s credibility is questioned in the workplace, in courts, by law enforcement, in doctors’ offices, and in our political system. People don’t trust women to be bosses, or pilots, or employees. Pakistan’s controversial Hudood Ordinance still requires a female rape victim to procure four male witnesses to her rape or risk prosecution for adultery. In August, a survey of managers in the United States revealed that they overwhelmingly distrust women who request flextime. It’s notable, of course, that women are trusted to be mothers—the largest pool of undervalued, unpaid, economically crucial labor.
While Ms. McKenna “did not ‘abduct’ the child,” the court said, “her appropriation of the child while in utero was irresponsible, reprehensible.
Sara McKenna, a former Marine, became pregnant during a brief relationship with Bode Miller, an Olympic skier. While seven months pregnant, she moved from California to New York to go to school, leading a judge to scold her for “virtually absconding with her fetus.” Now, the fight for custody of their son has become “a closely watched legal battle over the rights of pregnant women to travel and make life choices.” (via albinwonderland)
"Her appropriation of the child while in utero."
"Her moving her own adult body, an actual fully-realized, born, grown-ass person, to another state, was not cool, because she’s actually just an incubator, and I’ve done you all the courtesy of saying so blatantly enough that it’s not even a dogwhistle, I’m just saying so outright: she doesn’t matter because she’s just an incubator."
There, I fixed it.
Medieval attitudes toward disease and the body perceived women as the ‘faulty version’ of the male who were weaker because ‘menstruation and tearfulness displayed a watery, oozing physicality… women were leaky vessels… and menstruation was polluting.’ As patient narrative, research and history will illustrate, gender remains an incredibly important variable in the chronic illness experience. Partly, this is because more females than males manifest chronic and autoimmune conditions. However throughout history, deeply ingrained ideas about women as unreliable narrators of their pain and symptoms, as weaker than men, and as histrionic or otherwise ‘emotional’ have had a profound impact on their ability to receive accurate diagnosis and appropriate care.
In the Kingdom of the Sick: A Social History of Chronic Illness in America
by Laurie Edwards
in which she quotes from Medical Firsts by Adler
HELLO QUOTE THAT IS YEARS OF MY LIFE.
I get yelled at by doctors for saying my pain is a 3 when it’s a 7. I know several other women who are the same way.
INHERENTLY WEAK MY ASS.
1. HORMONES MAKE TEAR PRODUCTION HARDER FOR MEN, EASIER FOR WOMEN.
Think men don’t cry as often because they’re “strong” or lack emotion? Well, you can’t cry if you don’t have the tears to do it. Before puberty, girls and boys cry in equal amounts, and for pretty much the exact same reasons. When puberty hits and we get our hormones on (testosterone for the fellas and prolactin for ladies), our ability to PRODUCE tears changes. Testosterone may inhibit tear production in men, while prolactin actually makes crying easier (and encourages it) for women. Though the experience of feeling emotion may be exactly the same between the sexes, men’s bodies are simply less likely to produce tears as a response (while women’s bodies may produce them automatically, especially in response to stress). This hormonal difference also means that in situations where men & women BEGIN to cry, men may be able to shut down the reflex more easily, whereas women may have a much harder time holding them back. Women with especially high prolactin levels (preggers, post-preggers, hormonally imbalance like me, etc) may find they can cry almost indefinitely when emotions run high. I call it “leaking”, lol. In general, women are QUEENS of the “good, long cry”. Women may produce more tears than normal when depressed/anxious because of higher levels of tear producing stress hormone.
For men trying to understand a female cry response, it’s kind of like a boner for your eyeballs: sometimes it happens for no reason and you can’t shut it off right away EVEN when you desperately wanna. That’s not to say women are emotionally irrational or somehow unable to function when crying: we just have a physical response to emotion that makes us more likely to express it with tears. Tears (or lack of tears) are also NOT an indicator of depth of feeling or lack of emotion: a man can be devastated and simply be unable to produce tears (or will produce just a few). A woman can be mildly upset or stressed and cry whole heartedly.
Huh. That explains some things.
Reblogging to add more sources: Is it true that women’s tears contain an enzyme that can be released only by crying, meaning they are quicker to cry under emotional stress?
Tears of Men and Women Are Different; Why It Can Be Hard to Avoid Choking Up
Do women cry more than men? (via maichan808)
Speaking as a transman who has started testosterone, this is absolutely true. I would start crying much more easily pre-t and now it’s damnably hard to start, especially in situations where I just want a good cry like I used to.
I’m sorry, I just can’t get over the phrase “boners for your eyeballs.”
Well fucking shit, no wonder I can’t cry anymore. I hate not being able to, it was so useful and cathartic.
Well, that explains a bit, lord knows I’ve felt urges to cry but it just never happened. I assumed I was broken or unaffected or something.
Alright, Tumblr let’s talk about this quote:
“Always be Lilith, never Eve.”
and why it pisses me heck off.
Source: Women are dying to be thin.
This is in my Economics textbook
This is fucked up
I need a bachelor’s degree to make around the same amount as a male high school grad makes.
If you don’t think that’s unfair I don’t know what to tell you.
Just imagine if it were broken down by ethnicity how much angrier you’d be.
Reblogging because the feminization/racialization of poverty is always relevant to welfare.
What is striking is that my son’s romantic thoughts and feelings toward a gay male character do raise eyebrows. People worry about it being too adult and wonder what my son could possibly know about sex. But these are never things we worry about when little girls want to be Cinderella. A little girl of that age would be humored if she said Prince Charming was her boyfriend. There would be no raised eyebrows and no pointed looks. And no one would think it was about sex. It would just be a little girl doing her little-girl thing. It is only ignorance and prejudice that keep people from thinking the same thing about my son. He’s just a little boy doing his little-boy thing.
Yep. My mother teases me about having married “imaginary husbands” when I was a little girl. (I had baby dolls! I was a baby doll mama! If you have children you have to be married. Therefore, I needed a husband! This is what I had been taught.)
I wonder what would have happened if I’d said I needed a wife to help me raise my babies. Both of those are legitimate options for me as an adult, in terms of my sexuality and who I might marry, were I not. So.
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