ROMANOFF: Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.
BANNER: Captain America is on threat watch?
ROMANOFF: We ALL are!
You know the fanon that Tony invites everyone to stay at the Tower because he’s lonely when Pepper and Rhodey are busy? What if everyone comes to live there for that reason, and it doesn’t quite work according to plan?
I mean, he has friends around. So many friends! All the time! It’s great! Go team!
Except Pepper is waking up at ungodly hours of the morning to do yoga with Bruce. Or Rhodey and Thor are deconstructing battles instead of watching the movie Tony chose. Or Pepper and Steve talking about art when the whole reason Pepper picks out Tony’s art is that Tony doesn’t care, okay, this is not Tony’s interest. Even Rhodey and Clint discussing the finer points of barbecue- no, not with any robot help, just fire and a grill. It’s not that Tony isn’t invited, it’s just- his life has a very set order. Things are supposed to revolve around him! WHY ARE THINGS NOT REVOLVING AROUND HIM.
He hadn’t realized new friends at the Tower meant new friends for EVERYONE, this is like when Pepper and Rhodey discovered they both liked Walking Dead even though Tony wasn’t into it at all but times like a million.
Some nights, when Tony needs a break from his experiment but Pepper and Natasha are out for drinks and Rhodey and Sam are bonding over being the only normal people in the tower, Tony finds himself hanging around the common room of the tower with Bucky, both of them sulking (although both would fervently deny it), no one talking, no one even acknowledging the other.
JARVIS helpfully plays children’s programs about learning to work together on the television. Neither of them dignifies it with a response.
The Avengers as a Monster-Slaying OUAT Fantasy Show
New petvengers stickers! :D I’m reordering Captain America themed stickers (that got sold out under half a day) and I decided to add extra design because why the hell not :B
You even have stuff that Nat would have gotten Clint as souvenirs. How are you real?!
I have apparently been preparing all my life to be Clint Barton.
God, that’s depressing.
Need a dog? I’ve got a geriatric GSD who’ll need a home soon. She likes pizza.
No dogs in rental units, bro. I’d have to buy the building. Otherwise I would be on it, for real.
uh, if you actually the bought the building you would actually BE Clint Barton. ‘Cause that was a thing.
Please tell me that you don’t have Russians in tracksuits hanging around your apartment building.
No, just the dude in the Stand Your Ground shirt.
No way in hell could I afford this building. Even if I had an epic battle with my estranged brother (which, I actually have an estranged brother, what the eff) and stole all his money.
Mainly because he has no money, but still.
clint and sam compliment each other on their hotness and then engage in a round of bird puns.
↳ “aww, thanks, clint. you’re not bad looking yourself.” “aww shucks, sam. i’m blushing.”
kissing request part 01 : [x]
Anonymous said: STEVE HOLDING HIS NEW BORN BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND CRYING. Steve as a stay-at-home dad, Steve sending 24 pictures per day of his baby on the avengers groupchat, and when he tones it down a bit bc he knows that's kinda obnoxious Tony is like WHATS THE BABY DOING and Natasha is like WHERE ARE MY PICTURES and sam is like HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BABY ALREADY
Peggy’s back at work in like five days. When she comes home from her first day back, she tells Steve that they’d cocked it up so badly while she was gone that SHIELD is now a defunct organization and they’re going to have to start all over.
So while she’s working on that, he takes care of their new baby girl, Gloria. The first few days, he has a terrible time; he cries every time she cries, stands at her crib and watches her sleep for hours at a time, wrangles with his first diaper because he’s afraid if he pulls too hard he’ll hurt her.
She’s so tiny he can hold her in one hand. Most of her body fits on his palm, her head supported by his fingers. It’s kind of hilarious and really, really adorable, so he pulls out his cell phone and snaps several pictures. Reveling in technology, he sends it to everyone, except Peggy, because she’s busy and he can show her later.
After that it becomes a thing; nearly every hour he finds some new pose to send out, or accidentally snaps a shot of Gloria giving the camera the finger, or every time she opens her eyes and he gets to see that beautiful dark brown, just like her mother’s.
In a week, he’s sent almost four hundred pictures, and accrued several hundred more that he hasn’t sent out. JARVIS informs him that his phone won’t be able to store many more. And he realizes that his friends haven’t replied in a day or so.
He can’t bring himself to delete any of the pictures he’s taken, so he transfers them to his computer. He stops sending his friends everything, too.
Half an hour later his phone blings at him several times in a row.
Tony: whats sausage creature doing
Natasha: Everything okay? Haven’t gotten a picture in a bit.
Sam: dude what did you do, leave her on a park bench? pictures???
Clint: I need a new picture for my background
Bruce: HULK WANT PICTURES (Steve’s pretty sure Hulk didn’t send this, he hopes, Bruce has been getting better about joking really this is a joke right?)
Jane: Thor’s getting sad over here. Send help? Or pictures?
Tony: srsly sausage creature???/?? snapchat me smth is she napping is she pooping is she eating come on
He’s mid-reply when someone knocks on the apartment door. It’s Bucky, holding a really big knife, holy crap, and looking frantic. “What happened?” he asks, barging past Steve. “Where’s Gloria?”
"She’s fine," Steve says. "She’s napping. In her room. Which is a knife-free zone."
Bucky turns to him and glares, putting the knife—machete?—on the counter. “Where are my pictures?”
"Well—I stopped sending them. I thought you guys might be getting sick of them." He follows as Bucky turns and walks away, heading to the baby’s room. "I didn’t even think you knew how to look at messages." His phone is going off again.
Natasha: Steve? Starting to freak me out here?
He types out a quick reply and sends it, including one of his more recent pictures, to placate her, because if he doesn’t she might just rappel down into Gloria’s bedroom and he just doesn’t need that kind of paperwork.
Bucky is standing over Gloria’s crib, looking intently into it. Steve comes to stand next to him, and for a few seconds they both just look at the sleeping baby.
Finally, Bucky reaches down with his metal arm and traces one of her very blond eyebrows as softly as he can. “I can see them. I just haven’t figured out how to reply,” he mutters. “Don’t stop sending them. I like them.”
"Of course you do," Steve agrees. "You’re her godfather. It’s a requirement."
natasha is beating them at strip-chitauri-kill
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