“Okay. This looks bad.”
Based on my headcanons here. People seemed to like them, so I whipped this up because I needed fluff.
The GIF of Steven Colbert feeling up Captain America’s bicep becomes an internet sensation within seconds of it happening.
The GIF of Steve Rogers turning to the camera, looking right at it, and saying “no homo” in a perfect deadpan almost breaks the internet.
tobsjpalfrey said: Imagine Steve bench pressing Bucky. Who is bench pressing Natasha. Who is bench pressing Sam, who is sulking slightly about being on top.
It’s been a week since Kate set up a Vine account for Clint, and it’s been about 5 days since he’s subjected the rest of the Avengers to the phrase “DO IT FOR THE VINE”, and it’s been about 2 days since he’s managed to break everyone.
Today, Clint’s most recent vine is:
There’s a shaky view of Clint running into the Avengers gym. He’s breathing ridiculously heavily.
"People of New York, I present to you, the Cap Team Tower!"
The camera whips around, revealing Steve bench-pressing Bucky. The camera pans up and Bucky is bench-pressing Natasha with his metal arm, a smirk on his face. Natasha is bench-pressing Sam, who is grumpily curled up into a ball.
"Why am I not bench-pressing anyone? So not fair, man." Sam whines, crossing his arms.
"What a magnificent Midgardian pyramid! I shall join in your endeavors!" Thor’s voice booms, before a blurry flash of red cape flies into view.
"Thor, no!" Steve yells, and the stack of Avengers starts toppling over.
Natasha: I could send you a souvenir.
Clint: Nat, the last time I asked for a mission souvenir, you sent me three packs of bubblegum. No context.
*Steve cracks up laughing*
"YOU TOO, RHODEY!"
Baby hawk has a sleep on hulk
[10:36am] Do you think after Natasha tricked Loki in Avengers he got this whole “you played me” boner?
[10:37am] Like I think if you trick the trickster god you just automatically get promoted to High Priestess
[10:40am] and next time Natasha is on a mission and she says “god help me” Loki will just appear
[10:57am] What if she stubs her toe in the tower and is like “god damn it” and Loki shows up and Jarvis is all ALERT ALERT UNAUTHORIZED
[12:00pm] What if she’s doing it on a mission and she’s all “oh my god” and Loki manifests with the magic and lights and the dude is like WTF?! and she has to kill him and Loki is like YES MY HIGH PRIESTESS YOU CALLED and she’s like OMG YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS SHIT
[12:04pm] and he’s like LOL noooo you’re my high priestess until someone else tricks me let’s be friends foreverrrrrrrrrrr
marvel edition- inspired by (x)
Just imagine the Avengers going to Ikea, and Thor is the only one who can pronounce the name of anything.
kasuchi said: WHAT IF N AVENGERS 2 STEVE JUST PICKS UP MJOLNIR (MYUMYU) AND HANDS IT TO THOR LIKE "NBD HERE BRO." I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN.
oh. my. god. I NEED THIS SO MUCH.
so, avengers & co. are milling about post-skirmish, and everybody’s just gathering their shit together and regrouping
steve casually picks up mjolnir and helpfully hands it over to thor, and spends the next thirty minutes dealing with the complete emotional wreckage caused by this totally innocuous gesture
- thor & loki: freaking out quietly but powerfully, with the kind of wide-eyed disbelief and unnatural stillness that promises a lot of yelling & booming thunder & green-tinged lightning as soon as they recover their wits
- tony: prolonged hysterics over comms, just totally infuriated incomprehensible ranting. mjolnir has infuriated tony for ages - it’s a fucking fancy hunk of space rock, how does it fucking know who is worthy! how does it even determine what ‘worthiness’ constitutes! it’s an affront to science and dignity and american manhood, is what it is. and now steve rogers, who gets up tony’s nose more than anybody else he has ever met, just…picks up thor’s judgy magic god hammer like it’s nothing? tony is done. tony has no words. (that’s a lie: tony has ALL THE WORDS, and LOUDLY.)
- clint: cracking up in the background and egging on tony’s hysterics; this is the most fun he’s had all month
- lady sif: her disbelief unnerves steve even more than thor & loki; he’s come to expect a certain level of weirdness and emotional melodrama from those two, but not sif. steve likes sif. she’s a badass warrior goddess, she’s great in a fight and she’s very nice. one time they were training together and she even let him hold her glaive! they’re totally bros. warrior bros. but now she’s just staring and it’s freaking him out.
- natasha: suspected all along that steve could, but to have it confirmed…she quietly loses it, tucks herself in against steve’s side and giggles helplessly into his shoulder; she’s not surprised, it’s just…a small part of her is still waiting for steve to undercut her faith in him. but steve, annoying golden bastard that he is, keeps proving her right about him, and she doesn’t know what to do with that. (steve just looks down at her helplessly; he always likes hearing her laugh but this loss of composure unnerves him more than anything else.)
- sam & bruce: mystified. utterly mystified. hulk just blinks and sam dryly congratulates steve on his amazing hammer-lifting prowess.
- jane: rushes at steve, almost tripping over herself in her excitement and getting all up in steve’s personal space as she pokes mjolnir and pokes steve, who actually leans back in a futile effort to escape the torrent of incomprehensible science babble
- darcy: the only person in steve’s vicinity who (a) seems to understand the fuss and (b) doesn’t seem unduly put out by it. steve finds this tentatively reassuring right up until she grins widely, makes at least five filthy jokes about his inner purity, and asks for a fistbump.
sif is the first one to finally pull herself together and explain the whole ‘worthy of mjolnir’ thing; steve doesn’t even know where to look or what to do, he just goes bright red and stammers, while natasha giggles even harder and tony’s voice climbs up another octave
sam, perched on hulk’s shoulder and listening with increasing amusement, starts cracking up and actually tumbles right off while steve stares at him with betrayal writ large across his face, ET TU, SAM?, and sam is now laughing so hard he’s actually gasping for breath(bucky hears about it last, after the initial furor dies down, and he just grins at steve, bright and knowing and unsurprised. steve hasn’t seen that smile in years; the whole day’s embarrassment, including tony’s continued muttered ranting, is worth it for that alone)
rhodey asking tony why he doesn’t try to lift it. just give it a try, man, what’s the worst that can happen? maybe the magic hammer won’t like you.
tony: *INCOHERENT RAGE*
rhodey: *serene smile*
everybody who wasn’t present for steve’s party trick finds out in short order, because tony will not let it go (clint & rhodey take turns winding him up, not that it takes much doing; pepper should probably nix that, but she knows a captain america rant when she sees one and she flatly refuses to get involved)
meanwhile, thor has gotten past the initial shock and he’s now beaming all over the place and booming enthusiastically about steve, his wonderful shieldbrother; there’s a lot of manly warrior bonding with crushing hugs and bristly bearded kisses all over steve’s cheeks. steve likes thor, he really does, but he hasn’t been this consistently mortified since that first week touring with the uso troupe
(it’s the nattering about shieldbrothers that really tests loki’s temper; unusually, he finds himself deeply in accord with stark, which annoys him enough that he decides to smile beatifically at steve and congratulate him on the honor, taking care to go on at length about how sacred and magical and beyond mortal understanding it all is. for a brief beautiful moment, tony actually goes speechless with fury)
lmao i thought this had run its course but it’s making the rounds again; thank you for having feelings all over this, this is so much fun, you guys are making my night!!!
rebageling here because i would like everyone to take a moment and reflect upon thor & steve & manly warrior bonding with crushing hugs and bristly bearded kisses all over steve’s cheeks. (and sif, recovering her composure, smiling brightly at steve and gravely telling him that she is honored to fight alongside him, that he may call upon her sword whenever he has need of her. SIF & STEVE ARE BROS, I KNOW IT)
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